Being an exciled Geordie and sometime designer, I just thought I would combine both of those interests in this little nugget rescued from today’s papers. Now you’d have thought Newcastle fans (like myself) were looking silly enough at the moment but no, apparently some numpty at the Adidas marketing/design department has thought ‘hang on a minute, what the world needs is yet another excuse to mock the afflicted’ and come up with this delight of an away kit for Wor Lads to sport next season.

Now admittedly Steven Taylor is doing his best here, complete with forced grin, but imagine, if you will, that monstrosity upon the frame of a typical Toon fan this summer, somewhat sweaty, slightly out of shape and exquisitely sunburnt. Oooh, suits you sir.

Now either it’s Mike Ashley’s revenge on us, a junior designer’s hairbrained idea to allow us to blend in with the deckchairs when we play away at Blackpool next season or a cunning ploy to get the opposition to fall around in laughter while we hit the back of the net, but either way, I think I’ll stick with the black and white, thanks all the same.